I was told a myth this week that zinged about my mind like a hummingbird. It's the myth of Sati, who was one of the wives of Shiva.Sati was a princess, and her father did not include Shiva on his list of potential bridegrooms. Shiva was far too marginal a type for him. But Sati had set her heart on Shiva, and so she married him just the same. The two of them went to live together at Shiva's place, in the charnel grounds, where they spent their time singing and dancing and meditating.
Sometime later, Sati's father decides to hold a fire ceremony. He invites everyone, except his daughter and her husband. Sati is furious at such public rejection, and declares her intention to go anyway.
Shiva says no, she shouldn't go. It's a mortal insult, not being invited. She should stay away. But Sati defies him too, goes, and in her rage, throws herself into the fire and is consumed. Shiva is devastated. He gathers her remains and roams about the world, grieving, until Lord Vishnu comes and cuts up the body, so that bits of it fall over India.
In this myth, Sati rejects all the suitors her patriarchial father selects for her. Instead she chooses her own man, and leaves the house of her father to be with a different type of masculine energy. But she is still enmeshed, and when her father snubs her back, her rage at the patriarchy destroys her. It burns her up.
The man who loves her cannot save her. She has destroyed herself in order to avenge herself on her father.
The myth seems to ring true to me. So many of the women in my generation have such conflicted relationships with the masculine. We reject the patriarchial system in which we grew up, and yet somewhere inside, our rage smoulders, unabated. If we're not careful, the fire of our own fury can destroy us.
The myth is unbalanced. There are two men, but only one woman. Sati lacks a supporting feminine element. If there were another woman in the story, would she run from the arms of Shiva to cast herself into the father's fire? She is too alone, she has become unstrung. The love of a good man is not enough; she needs the community of other women to save her.
As it is, alone, she cannot survive her own hurt.
